financies, health, transformation, wealth

I am Stuck…

Some of you may ask I find a more empowering word.  I have resisted saying it for sometime but the truth will set you free.  I am stuck.  Being stuck always has a sob story and suggests a certain new degree of effort is required for movement.

In the domain of weight loss, the scale is stuck on the same spot for months now.  Last week I decided to binge, to eat anything and everything offered.  We had parties to attend and the food is always delicious and not part of my ‘approved’ diet.  Sunday morning I stepped on the scale and I was ~10 pounds, 4.8 kilos, heavier than the last two months.  The volume of sugar running through my system left my mood descending and headed for nasty.  My approach to eating works for me.  I can eat as much as I want.

By Wednesday morning, my daily fast day, I was back to 100 kilo losing the previous two days of madness in almost the same amount of time.  My attitude had leveled off with signs of ascending.  Thursday, after an extended exercise routine both yesterday and today, a diet of water and a few protein gels to feed the beast found me at 100 kilo.  I am stuck.  I have been at this point every Thursday for months.

The monkey mind is happy by the way.  Perhaps waiting for the next decent is what is required.  I must put my focus elsewhere for now.  The ‘stuck’ feature appears to be everywhere however.  My mood, my cash flow, my activity; every index I use to evaluate the day are steady, stable and stuck.   The first step required to change something is identifying where you are and what it is.    I am stuck and I will wait for an opening, a possibility to ride for the movement to occur.

I have found that wishing it were different, hoping it will change, resisting by doing something different all fail.  A technique I have used in the past successfully is to add fuel to fire on purpose.  When upset about something, especially one of the issues that tends to set me off, if I stuff it, hold it, put ‘nice’ over it, all that happens is a festering resentment at best and an explosion of some kind sooner than later.   What works for me is to be even more angry than appropriate, to add energy to the soreness, to become more adamant and verbose on purpose, the purpose part clicks in and I can take back the controls from the monkey mind.   The trouble is I am often surrounded by many more upset people than just me and I am no longer upset.  The technique needs some work.

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